Friday, April 13, 2012

|{ Controlling Fear }|

Yesterday, Jon and I were driving in the car on the freeway.  We had recently stopped for gas and had been on the road for at least 10 minutes when Jon put his hand on my knee and I turned to look at him and smiled.....and then gasped in shock and fear and clasped my hands over my mouth.

Jon freaked out from my reaction and asked him what it was.  I told him he needed to exit and pull over....there was a wasp sitting on his shoulder.

*Not my photo

I am utterly terrified of bees!! I was surprised I was able to control myself as much as I did. Had I found it on my shoulder it would not have been the case and we would not have had time to exit before pulling over.  You should see the way I react to them, recoiling with lots of little pathetic girlish wimpers and squeezing my eyes closed, trying to move away without being stung.

After he got out of the car and got the bee of his shoulder I started to think about fears and how to handle them.  I realized that while I don't know if I can overcome this fear, I do need to learn how to control it better.  What's going to happen when I have little kids and a bee comes around? I can't freak out about it or else they will freak out about it, they'll be scared of them too just because of the way I react to them.  I need to be able to control myself so that even though I'm scared, I can look calm and collected on the outside so my children won't have to be afraid.  I'm supposed to protect them and care for them, not make life scarier than it needs to be.

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